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“We Aren’t Interested; WE Are ‘BODY-POSITIVE’ Here!!”

I stumbled upon a store online that I thought was incredible; a store that catered to adults (and had diaper stations throughout, to boot), and not only that, recently had a “PostPartum Sex Workshop”. I was intrigued.

My product “SexCies” is not in stores right now, but I thought, “Perfect!” THIS is the type of store that I want to be in…I bet they would LOVE SexCies”!

Boy, was I off the mark.

I called and introduced myself to the employee who picked up the phone. “Wait, WHO is this?” she asked, “What is this in regards to?”

I began to explain SexCies; first line of “Shapewear for the Bedroom”, made to cover and flatten the folds and puckering due to childbirth.. I had had 2 C-sections which led me to avoid intimacy, etc, etc….do you think your store might be interested?


“Uh, I don’t THINK so,” the employee huffed, “WE are ‘BODY POSITIVE‘ here.”


THAT threw me for a loop..

“Oh my Gosh, NO, I’m sorry, I didn’t explain it right..” and I began to ramble, so taken off guard I began to stutter, “You know when a woman gets a Masectomy and there are bras that help her to feel better about it? THAT is why I created this…”

(I swear I heard a snort on the other end of the line)

“…I felt disfigured from my surgery, and just wanted to feel better about myself, that’s why I made this..”


“Oh, no I GET it”, she said, “You are like ‘SpanX’ for SEX..

…oh, no….WAIT.. “Well, some of need to feel better about ourselves, I would NEVER tell a woman she isn’t beautiful, I think ALL of us are,” I trailed off…

I could tell I wasn’t getting through,

“Well, you aren’t going to convince me…but I will give you the person you should talk to..BUT, if you haven’t convinced ME, you are going to be hard-pressed to convince HER..”

She gave me the email, as I tried to choke back tears (and not give her the satisfaction of hearing that) “Thank you so much for your time”.

I heard a CLICK.

Since then I been torturing myself thinking of ways I could have explained SexCies better…and yes, I have become a teeny-weeny bit indignant. You know when you have “delayed” comebacks? Here are mine..

“Yeah, can you send a phone pic of yourself? Are you wearing ANY make-up?”

“Did you dress today in old, worn apart sweats, or did you adorn yourself in something flattering to your figure?”

“Are you completely happy and confident with your body?”

And here is what I really wish I had said,

“Maybe you are ‘body positive’, but some of us women out there aren’t.

I guess where my frustration comes from is people telling women that we “shouldn’t” feel this way, or better yet, “shouldn’t have to feel this way.”

The fact of the matter is, a lot of us do..and simply telling us that we should succumb to what their idea of “body positive” is, doesn’t necessarily mean that we will.

Huh. I finally got it…its been bugging me how to put this:

You know what “body positive” means to me? It means doing whatever it is you choose to feel positive about your body!

For some, that may mean going au natural, for others, it may mean wearing SexCies, and heck, it may even mean shaving their heads and getting piercings (you GO Beverly McClellan)!

The point is that I believe that we have choices which allow us to determine for ourselves what helps us feel “body positive”…and hey, that is a choice that interests me.


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