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Top Reasons Why Men Lose Interest In A Woman (Controversial!)

I need to make this abundantly clear: I (Suzy) did NOT write this. This was written by a man who has very strong opinions on the subject. I wanted to post this to get my Mamacitas and perhaps get other men’s opinion. Read also the comments that were added at the bottom…the article really stirred things up!

Top reasons why men lose interest in a woman

Many women have the frustrating experience of going out with a guy on one or a few dates, thinking that things go well between the two of them, and then having that guy suddenly stop calling and disappear. It is probably not a big deal when it happens with one or two guys, but if that is your experience with men over and over, it is hard to not take this personally and not start believing that there is something about you that turns men off and makes those men lose interest in you. While every dating situation and every interaction between people is unique and different and thus the reasons behind the guy losing interest are just as different, there are several common causes of that loss of interest beyond the typical “no chemistry” situation and the very common situation where the guy is simply not interested in dating one woman and he is driven toward sexual novelty and variety regardless of who he meets today.

The following are the six top reason why guys lose interest and what you can do to eliminate those possible causes of losing interest and thus increase your chances of retaining the guy’s interest and desire to be with you for a longer time:

1. You are not attractive enough. It is a cruel fact but a very true fact that if a woman is not physically attractive enough, there will still be guys who will be willing to go out with her but that won’t usually last. While there is only so much we can do to improve our looks and be more attractive, there is one major step that a woman can take to become more attractive – losing weight. This is not to say that the woman who doesn’t have excess weight should lose weight and be thinner – no, that’s not the point. The very interesting fact is this: if you are not overweight – if your body is reasonably lean and/or tones, chances are that unless there is some disfigurement in your face or body, you are probably attractive and sexually desirable for most guys. If you are overweight, it is critically important that you start losing weight and building a more attractive body. This will have all kinds of positive consequences on your life – from health benefits, having more energy, more confidence and of course – more attention from men. In short, losing weight and having a more attractive body will change and improve every single moment of your life. There are simply no reasons to wait and postpone achieving this goal any longer.

2. You talk too much. No matter how smart a person is, if he dominates a conversation, he will boring and even tiring to the other person. I and my friends met some incredibly beautiful women over the course of our dating lives, but we simply couldn’t stand being around some of them because they simply wouldn’t stop talking and wouldn’t shut up. While it’s obvious when someone else talks a lot, it’s not nearly as noticeable when you have to evaluate your own conversational habits. Thus, I encourage you to ask your friends whether they think you talk too much or interrupt their conversation or otherwise dominate your interaction. Encourage them to be honest and not tell you what you want to hear, but instead – tell you how it is.

3. You are too uptight. This girl told me once on the phone that she couldn’t meet me because her car broke down, to which I replied: “Well, that’s what happens when you let women drive.” Instead of laughing at the comment as most women would, she got angry, thought I was serious, hung up on me and later demanded an apology. Few things are bigger turn-offs and are more unattractive than a woman who can’t take a joke and who says “Ahh, how dare you!” instead of laughing at an inappropriate comment or a sexual innuendo and dishing one of her own. Dark humor, sarcasm and sexual comments are a spice life and love life for every interesting, ambitious guys. If you are interesting in dating and having a relationship with one, you should consider stopping to take yourself too seriously, open your mind and enjoy dark humor, rather than being intimidated by it or judge it.

4. You are boring. If you don’t have much to say, thoughts to share and ways to respond with to what the guy says, thinks and believes in, you are not going to catch a great guy’s interest for very long. Boring dates feel like a torture, and no one is interested in going into one or sticking around when they realize that they have to push the conversation to simply fill the time. Surely there is no shortcut to become a more interesting person, but there is a great, long-term solution – you started learning more things about yourself, about your environment and the world. TV, magazines, books, meeting new people, watching shoes, and engaging in social events will give you much more material to think about and form your views on. Surely, there is a lot of junk out there on TV and in magazines, but there is also lots of good material, and it is your duty to choose and “filter” the bad stuff out. As you become a more interesting woman, this will go far beyond improving your dating life and will make you much more attractive and interesting to your friends, and co-workers, and will likely create new social and professional opportunities for you that you didn’t even think existed and were available to you.

5. You are excessively independent/feminist. For many women it’s a life crusade showing and proving to guys and to themselves that they can be all a man can and more in every way. I fully support equality and full opportunities for women. However, when it comes at the account of femininity and elegance – women pay a high price of becoming very unattractive to the opposite sex. It’s a fundamental law of nature that masculine, confident, attractive men are attracted to the opposite – feminine women – women who possess a feminine voice, walk, and manners. Don’t take me wrong. I would never suggest that a woman should stay home and cook and clean. This is not what it is about. A woman can be very educated and successful and still retain her femininity and be proud of being a woman. Stop hiding the fact that you are different from guys. You are and it’s good news – good for you and for men. There is a saying “Bitches get corner office.” I seriously doubt it. Part ot being professional and romantically successful has always been being a lady, and being a lady and a “bitch” are mutually exclusive.

6. You are a victim of your past – many women have a bad relationship with a guy who is controlling and possessive at least once in their lives. Breaking up with such a guy feels like a very liberating experience – like putting more air in your lungs, like letting your tied wings go free, if you will. A woman who undergoes such a bad relationship in which she submitted to the guy’s control and possessiveness, jumps into another extreme with the other guys that she meets later. She makes it a point to show to every guy she meets that she is not going to “obey” him and do what she wants. She will do the opposite from what the guys asks or suggests just for the sake of showing that no one can tell her what to do, and that she decides what she does for herself. This is unfortunate because it creates unnecessary problems and challenges in communication. If you believe that you create such challenges in your interaction with men, you should do your best to not let your past negative experience with a jealous guy affect your present and future interactions with men.

7. You are not a good sex partner. Many women either ruin the romantic tension and the connection with the guy in bed. Few women act in a way that will make sleeping with them a great, memorable experience that the guy is eager to repeat. Some of the big turn-offs for guys are women who are either too quiet in bed (not making any sounds that would indicate their enjoyment and would look like they are bored), or those who talk too much, or say something inappropriate and irrelevant at the very wrong time. Not many women know what they are doing with their hands and their mouth when it comes to the man’s body. If a man had a mediocre experience sleeping with you for the first time, he is unlikely to want to do that again.

8. You are too competitive. It is very common for a woman who had dated a controlling, possessive, jealous guy to try to “make up” to herself for that time that she was subjected to such treatment, by jumping into another extreme, and challenging her next partner for a reason or not reason just for the sake of showing to him over and over and he cannot control her. She will disagree on the place to eat, go out at, travel to, and do not because she doesn’t like his idea, but because she wants to demonstrate to him that he cannot control her. A strong, confident guy will be turned-off and will lose interest in such a woman quickly because to him – such an attitude is incompatible with a very notion of that which is feminine. If you believe that you have been trying to overcompensate for the past “subordination” in your relationships with men, do yourself a favor and don’t allow your past haunt your present future and don’t allow the immaturity of your past dating partners negatively affect your dating life today.

This might sound extreme, but I truly believe that there is no better way to learn how to be a better sex partner than by observation. Thus, I urge you to not be afraid to rent erotic or even quality pornographic movies that will inspire you and will give you some great ideas on how to make your sexual experience more sensational and satisfying to both you and the guy. Make no mistake about it – this kind of skill is not common, and your guy, especially if he has “been around the block” will appreciate it because he knows that this is not common.

It is impossible to fully protect yourself from dating a guy who will lose interest in you at any point. However, by paying attention to the above six possible issues that you might be having in your interactions with guys, you will dramatically improve the chances of keeping any guy’s interest and coming across as a more attractive and desirable woman.

34 responses so far

34 Responses to “Top reasons why men lose interest in a woman”

  1. April Bell says:

    LMAO!!! This site was obviously created by a man!

  2. viv says:

    April, I agree! What a joke. I don’t know a single woman that would want to be this meek, subservient,adoring,submissive, yet money earning sex siren ‘lady’ in the 21st century! Whoever wrote this drivel, get real. Women (and men) have moved on.

  3. practicalhappiness.com says:

    Of course, it’s a tall order and a lot to a expect, but the women who combine professional ambition and success with real confidence along with femininity that doesn’t require them to try to be and act like a man, and prove that they can be everything a man can. This combination of qualities makes these women very desirable to men. I often do not hesitate to ask them why they are different. Interestingly enough, some of them say that every woman would act feminine and desirous to please with the right man who can bring it out on her. I, of course, wouldn’t know if that’s the case.

  4. RR says:

    I might be wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure most women would be offended by that “women driving” comment. Seriously? Don’t you think the obvious gender bias in our society is a bit too strong to be cracking jokes about? It comes off as crass and uneducated.

  5. practicalhappiness.com says:

    Some would probably be offended, while others would find it funny, smack a guy playfully and say something similarly sarcastic to play along. I guess that’s what distinguishes an easy going person from the uptight one.

  6. john robertson says:

    at time woman ant comply with man

  7. carlos says:

    very well put. there are so many cases where the reason is NOT the woman but when it is, these really are the reasons. it wouldnt make sense to write a list where the main purpose was to write what women want to hear!

  8. soozie says:

    Just remember guy’s its a woman that decides if you have sex or not, sucks doesn’t it ha ha. By the way this site is total crap, men if you believe what’s written here you will always be single.

  9. Jay says:

    Well, the first one is a bit inaccurate because my mom is a big lady, yet she’s very beautiful and has tons of men fighting for her attention. Number three is relative; it depends what kind of joke is made. If is a joke that offends religions or ethnicities, I will not like it. Number five is confusing; men complain when women are “clingy”, but they also complain when they aren’t. Boy, are they stupid or what?! Number seven depends; the first time I had sex with my guy I was in my period and the condom broke right before climax, but we kept doing it. It became better, and better eventually.

  10. kofybean says:

    @April: Of course it was written by a man, the title is why MEN lose interest. You expect a woman to write why men lose interest? You are deluded.

    @Soozie: If men believe what’s written here?! This article isn’t written for men, its written for women. You are saying if men don’t have standards they will always be single? What a child.

  11. kofybean says:

    Oh, almost forgot. The top two reasons why men lose interest is because

    a)too many women reading too many sites like this and play too many games, guys lose patience in that childish crap and bounce.

    b)Woman play too hard to get, and when the guy gets her and see she isn’t worth half the effort he put into it… see ya!

  12. Skapie says:

    Okay, Guys then tell me what is wrong with me, that he dumped me, or me him?
    I am a single mother (37year old),very spontaneous and take live as it is, and never felt that I will fall in love again, but I did. It did not really bother me to seek someone in my life again, It is me and my Beautiful little Girl, what more did I need. But one day I met this guy, I were on a chat room via mobile and all of a sudden he invited me and we started chatting and we laughed a lot, it felt as if I were next to him. Then later as our friendship grew the conversations went in to another direction. We had sex talks texing each other and I felt the same as he did and he started phoning me privately asking how my day is and that he his phoning me because he misses me. Eventually I told him via sms, that I feel what he his feeling and if he feels the same.
    You know the Chemistry was heavy. There weren’t a day that has gone by that we told each other that I missed him and he misses me or love each other. Some times we chatted til 3am in the morning and even send pictures of ourselves and things were still the same, until one day I just flipped and told him that he should not be rude to me, but if that is the case I will make it easier for him, because of the way he treated me the one night felt like he had enough and I ended it. The next morning I felt really bad and apologize and begged him to forgive me. It was foolish of me. He did not answer any of my sms. Until I asked him if he really does not have any more feelings for me, he must let me now. O and one-thing you should know…
    He is 10 years younger than me, His answer via sms is as follows: I am not interested thank you, I do not forgive and forget so easily, I need time, I will let you know when I am up to it again.

    So please tell me what did I do wrong? And is there still hope?, cause meeting him was fate, becoming his friend was choice but falling in love with him was out of my controle. We even had plans to move in together.. and meeting each other for the first time.

  13. amber says:

    how could you not expect that joke to have backlash?
    lol, maybe we should joke about their penis size – if they feel awkward, then they’re probably too uptight ladies.

  14. TruthBeTold says:

    omg, this is rich~ While the article and subsequent response posts are somewhat amusing, something should be said for those of our population who lack depth and substance and even more so for those who have plenty of it.

    There’s a happy medium to be had here but it doesn’t exist in this writer’s constitution, who is clearly not, (for those who are curious), a man ~but somewhat of an unfortunate arse. If you don’t think this assessment has merit, let’s rewrite the article, TRANSPOSING the men and the women reference and the women’s lib paragraph with one that suffers through the same in a man who subscribes to such ideas that a woman’s place is in a kitchen, she has to be thin after giving birth three times, while he allows himself to become overweight, etc., and you’ll have no choice but to agree, it’s off base and character comes into play here.

    Dear author, this may come as a shock to you, but it works BOTH ways.

    (Besides, have you ever stopped to think how often one can observe examples of beautiful women who were married to men who let themselves go and men who somehow have the idea that the description ‘average-sized’ means having a beer gut? Or speak incessantly and arrogantly ad nauseam about their narrow views? Please? They’re out there.)

    Thankfully, there are a plethora of terrific men in the world who would sooner seek what potential a woman has to offer well past two or three dates rather than to dismiss her for the above mentioned excuses, as the writer evidently practices.

    For the real gentlemen, we know who you are and are ever so thankful for your existence, honorable intentions and your patience in taking the time in order for us to get to know one another… it brings us closer, we can learn what we need to have a good relationship together and we appreciate you.

    And to the poor, unfortunate sycophant who had penned the original article, before you assume I might resemble any of your ‘top reasons’? Don’t. I work diligently to be toned and slender, very easy on the eyes, a good conversationalist, educated and very much a lady; probably just one of the few ‘lucky ones’ you’d wish you could date more than once…

    (Though it wouldn’t have happened, as I’d have seen your true colors in short order. At the point you’d have sensed this, you’d probably not attempt another date but instead, assign one of your above ‘labels’ to me to assuage your your bruised ego.)

    That said, you might do well by taking the time to do some introspective study of your modus operandi before all the good ones are gone. But, wait, don’t run off and pout yet, there is actually one positive attribute one might raise to give credit your logic, and that is it probably spared many lovely women from having wasted too much of their valuable time with you, giving more for the deserving men who do have substance. You can change if you really wish it, surely there must be at least one woman out there who wants to have faith in your motives.

    Please consider being more broad-minded in your next commentary, hmm? It would not only appear more attractive but would be far more worthy of sharing.

    Thank you.


  15. TruthBeTold says:


    I apologize up front as this may be cold comfort to you at the moment, but this is the best thing that could have occurred before you wasted any more of your precious time. He was very likely only using you without having any real intention of carrying on a true relationship at any point. In hindsight, you’ll notice everything seemed perfect while he was having a a ‘great time’ with you, that is until you dumped ‘drama’ on him, which is why he’s ‘out of there’ so instantly. Someone who really had true feelings for you would not behave in this manner and you know it. YOU KNOW IT.

    He’s gone, if only for the time being as he warns you he ‘needs time’, to decide if he’s ‘up to it again’… so remember what I’m telling you here!! No matter how difficult it might be, should it happen and he approaches you to continue this exchange you’ve been having, DO NOT, under any circumstances take back up with this character, as it is likely he removed himself from the situation when you became upset as to not be found out that you were only one of his many. He’s trying to throw it all back on you but in reality it is his mechanism to keep from being found out, whatever he is. You have no idea how much of what he says is accurate and true. Trust me on this, do not mess with him again. I’m sorry, as I am sure reading this must hurt you and I send you virtual hugs as you go on…

    You are probably a very genuine, sweet, giving and loving woman. Unfortunately, there are millions of predators online (yes, consider the especially highly disgusting, dirty old men pedophiles), who do nothing with their retirement time but pilfer through the very public photo albums that people post online. They steal their images to falsely present themselves to victims using the likeness of those unwitting participants in their game with you and your heart. Is he really all that and ten years younger? Think about it. YOU DON’T KNOW. Go online yourself. Choose a persona and see how easy it is to pop into someones photo bucket and steal their lifetime of photo memories that they have posted there! It’s too easy to do and predators are very adept at it.

    Of course, this is not to say that EVERY man associated with an online connection must be considered undeserving of your trust and respect. Definitely not! I met my husband online, 13 years ago. However, going forward, don’t waste any time before meeting an online suitor in person before you get too emotionally involved. DO THIS VERY CAREFULLY with COMMON SENSE and great caution> if a man has honest intentions and is on the up and up, he should have zero issues with meeting you in a public place and if he has traveled, taking a hotel suite rather than following you to your home for a night cap. Many points to his credit if he suggests to carry on that way until you get to know each other better. Never put yourself in an isolated situation, let friends and family meet him. How he reacts to your very suggestion of meeting friends/family alone would be a good test of his true intentions.

    If the feeling is mutually expressed, realize that you should be able to call each other ANY TIME (reasonably speaking, of course) of the day or night. (If he gives you strict instruction to the contrary, he might have something to hide that will break your heart). Any other restriction on communication should be a huge red flag for you, no matter how they explain their situation away. Don’t fall for it. TRUST your intuition, don’t let emotions cloud your judgment (this is easier said than done so worth mentioning).

    If at ANY point there is a hint of doubt in your mind about the situation, trust your gut instinct and move on no matter how smooth he might be. DO NOT let the wonderful feeling of ‘being in love’ mask what is common knowledge. That is, with the advent of Internet exchanges, if you haven’t met the man, especially if he puts up barriers to this happening, you simply can’t be certain he is who he says he is or that he really exists as someone worthy of your affections.

    I hope that you will chalk this up to ‘lessons learned’ as you are still very young and can move on to a very fulfilling relationship with someone deserving of you when the time is right. Best wishes.

  16. Jen says:

    I think I’d didn’t like the sex partner thing. Cuz, not only are your expectations too high but men can be bad in bed too and women don’t dump them for it. Problem is, I’m naturally quiet (unless you’re hurting me) so sometimes noise is a bad thing! Also, I’m inexperienced. Men say they like girls who don’t sleep around but then they expect them to be good in bed! Take your pick! Do you want sluts who are awesome at sex or those who’ve slept with few and will not be good at it? Be realistic, please.
    And for someone like me, i tend to say slightly inappropriate things all the time but you need to know that women have faults. so for the sex thing, thats just not on. You’re nasty in your approach cuz you’re saying ‘you’re ugly’ ‘you’re boring’. thats not going to help anyones self esteem. Talk like that will convince women to put out less and you will suffer for it! its more about if they TRUELY like you – they will stick by you.

  17. practicalhappiness.com says:

    Good points. First, I am sure that some women do leave guys who don’t make them happy in bed, and the one who don’t might be feeling unhappy or unsatisfied. If you are naturally quiet, it’s not a problem. Perhaps you have other ways to show that you enjoy intimacy. Or… perhaps your partner doesn’t really care about you being quiet. About experience – it’s true that guys want it both ways. I guess moderation, like in many other things, is the key. Having some experience is not a bad thing. A virgin is not an ideal situation for a secular guy and so is a former porn star, but there are many other options in between obviously.

  18. Chris says:

    I don’t agree with everything on the list, but a few things. That doesn’t mean they don’t apply to somebody. A lot of people today seem to think that if something doesn’t apply to them then it must be total bullshit (cough cough). I have dated many women who love to talk about equality and their independence, but when the check comes they are nothing but smiles. Dump. I have dated many girls who demand an exciting man, yet they have no hobbies besides shopping. Dump. A women who claims that men are shallow when it comes to choosing a mate yet have a large collection of Brad Pitt and Mathew McConaughay movies (for their personality obviously). Dump. Many women today want it all, without the drawbacks. I’m sure there are plenty of shit men too. However, I don’t date men, only women, and can only say how glad I am to be living healthy and single!

  19. practicalhappiness.com says:

    Hello, Chris. Your observations are both true from my experience and entertaining. I think people who have “high standards” for others but not nearly as high standards for themselves come across as annoying and out of touch in reality, whether it’s men, women, and whether it concerns dating, work, etc… The kind of hypocrisy that you describe is just rather one common example of that. If we had a dime for every person who says that they are not materialistic and don’t care about money, to only find out that they are all about labels and showing off….

  20. Dumbass says:

    Seriously, who ever wrote this is single and lives in their parents basement, and probably has been blown off by every female he has ever spoken to.

    This quote comes to mind:
    I think… no, I am positive… that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. You know, in the short time we’ve been together, you have demonstrated EVERY loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you’re morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You’re not even interesting enough to make me sick

  21. la luna says:

    i was in a relationship w/ an ex bf for 3 years and never had any communication with him after the break up. he never called me, i never called him up; i was hoping he would call me up. the break up was my fault, i overreacted. I made myself very busy and never thought of calling him up. But 8 years after the break up i called him up and told me he was already married for 4 years now and has an 8 month old child. ; i was very disappointed and hurt about hearing he was already married. I regretted not calling him earlier when i might have had a chance to reconcile with him. Now i am depressed and mourning over my loss. i regretted i even called after 8 years. was i right or wrong in calling him after 8 years? what do you think of him not calling me at all after the break up?

  22. Anon says:

    I don’t undermine the equality, and I do appreciate intelligent women, but I also live in a heavy state with liberal ideal’s, and extreme feminist backlash, it reminds me of the old adage “is the juice worth the squeeze”, to this respect I’d say no most of the time. When you live in a region where most girl’s act like men, and most men act like scene-kid trash, and your the few of a masculine breed of men left standing, it is hard to find common ground with society.

    Not to say there isn’t good fish in the sea, just finding the one’s that don’t leave a miserable aftertaste is something to be longed for.

  23. 702 says:

    Sounds like you live in the Las Vegas area or somewhere on the west coast like I do Anon. I learned how the men to women ratio on the west coast is around 3 to 1 so I think women can be more picky therefore a lot more single men. I’ve had a hell of a time finding a lasting relationship with a woman lately which is probably due to the fact that I’m unemployed but even when I was working I never got the quality woman I was looking for. Women on the west coast are more shallow I find. I’m hoping I can land a job in DC where the single women to men ratio is like 3 to 1.

  24. practicalhappiness.com says:

    I too think that the ratio between men and women makes a difference. If the ration is balanced, rather than male dominated, there are more women to choose from for men, and women tend to have less “attitude” or less “guards” as they don’t have quite as many options as in areas where there are way more men than women.

  25. Schadenfreudian_Slip says:

    So…when men dare describe their likes and dislikes, women circle the vaginas and act offended. There you go: when the shoe is on the other foot, many of you show you cannot handle debate with an objective point of view. You make the writer’s point for him.

  26. Truth be told to the shallow of evil says:

    Pssh. All this just to get a baby?!!!

    Not worth it.

    This is what’s called CONDITIONAL LOVE/LUST.

    Truth hurts. but one day they will be bald and ugly and fat as well…..

    with NO LOVE from the women they WAnt.

  27. Adam says:

    I think it’s a well written article. You guys should know though, it’s probably written a little bit more geared to the women who want to get the upper percentile of men though. I generally look for alot of these qualities in women. Except, however, I do often like women who are a little bit chubby. It makes women more womanly in my mind ^_____^ (granted with good style, cute face, good skin, etc.)

  28. Snowdrop says:

    I think the article is largely true but that it applies to both men and women. I have rejected men for some of the reasons stated – boring, poor love-making, competitiveness (which I find unattractive in both men and women). In relation to weight – I don’t think it’s shallow – physical fitness and health are attractive, period. One thing not mentioned but which I think is a red flag to basically everyone is neediness. But again, in my experience men are just as prone to this as women. Maybe the article should just be retitled – Things that are generally a turn off early on in a relationship?

  29. Ben says:

    Women who are bad in bed are the worst just got out of a relationship with one. Dead silence, doesn’t move much, sexual hung-ups, inhibition shyness lack of initiation & imagination, never masturbated etc etc. It is very easy to loose interest in these types and love alone is not enough to hold the couple together. I gave it 3 years and nothing changed, at all.

  30. Curious says:

    This article and the subsequent comment leave me more confused. I wonder what exactly more interesting in bed means and then I realize what was meant by the comment is act like you are in a porno. What if you dont watch porno? Before men started watching those things, all women had to be was average looking or better, and THERE. Men expect women to act like the ho in some xrated movie, but they dont want the type of girl who watches it. They dont want their woman to be some cheap slut, but that is what they are attracted to. An as far as the bad driving comment, this author wants a woman who will playfully put up with verbal abuse. Its not that the author meant it as a joke. If it was meant as a joke it would be said with a smile and a Nah just kidding! But what if the shoe was on the other foot? How does it feel to live in a world where your worth is based on what you look like, and how slutty you act, instead of the fact you have a loving personality and a beautiful caring heart? Im not saying looks dont matter, but it shouldnt be the most important thing. Ive been married for 8 yrs, and I know my husband loves me, but society has created this nagging fear that if I gain weight or Im not pencil thin with big boobs, a tan and a dingy, “tease” type personality will my husband still love me or no? That is sad. It is sad to women that men have this perfect type and if they see flaws they think you must not be the one and move on to something else. It was never meant to be that way.

  31. Onthefence says:

    Firstly I’m female. Unfortunately I can believe many of these points to be true after speaking to many of my male friends about this sort of thing previously. Guys can have these reasons but so can women. I’ve heard many women talk about how ugly a guy is and they wouldnt go near him with a ten foot pole etc etc, or that they were boring, or cocky or SOMETHING that is just part of who that person is. There are many people out there that arent as superficial, but there are more that are, and thats just how it is sometimes. You arent going to click with everyone you meet. However I do dissagree with the weight thing, I know quite a few guys that like the bigger ladys over the slimmer ones. Personal preferance, but if you get dumped… it probably is for something superficial sadly….

  32. Raindrop says:

    I’m a pretty down to earth person.

    However: If my car broke down, I’d probably be pretty peeved about that already. Then add on a guy cracking a sexist joke expecting a laugh when my FREAKING CAR just broke down? Uh – no. Sorry. Hah, and the guy thought it had to do with him. Freaking hilarious.

    I mean, that joke didn’t even make sense. Her car broke down – not crashed – but broke down, and he made a joke saying it’s about the way she drove it? If anything, he should’ve said, “That’s what happens when a woman takes care of a car.” Hell, at least it might’ve had a chance of having the 50% truth rule to it.

    Hell, maybe she was annoyed because she’d heard the same joke over and over again – Every woman has. “Oh ho ho, you’re so funny! Where did you learn that extremely witty and hilarious joke from?” I mean, come on. If she wanted a funny guy, it definitely wouldn’t be him. That would be like giving a guy who used a pick-up line a second glance. Uh, no – negative.

    I’m so lucky that my SO is actually witty and wouldn’t stoop his humor to an over-used, sexist, ‘I’m just copying my friend’s jokes because that will make me cool in my head’ kind of joke.

    All I can say for that guy is: Lame.

    /end rant.

  33. Adriana says:

    Hmmm… Well the article is a bit blunt and shallow but, I see where the author is coming from & ill try to keep your advice in mind (though I disagree with a few things) I tooo, as a woman have standards, when it comes to men. while, I like to believe my standards are not shallow… Id be lying if I said they werent, even just a bit. :/ there is no such thing as perfection and we are all guilty of shallowness in one way or another. Also, BOTTOM LINE to everyones opinions and arguements: WOMEN will forever think like WOMEN; MEN will forever think like MEN. The best thing to do would to just be more considerate of the opposite sex n understand its a battlw that will never be won! Good luck to you all!

  34. miss kitty says:

    I think if I had read this and was 30 I wouldn’t “get it” like I do now at 50. I agree with the author. We could save ourselves so much grief if we would not jump from one bad right into another bad relationship with some dude we know nothing about. Ladies, please take some time to rest up between dudes and know where you were wrong and learn what you like n need and then go out and look for the next one with some standards that will enhance your life not confuse and ruin your life. BE HAPPY-TAKE A CLASS-BE ALWAYS LEARNING AND PAY ATTENTION TO CURRENT EVENTS. Watch porn but only the stuff you yourself are willing to do. it makes sense to me. Don’t bring gloom into a room and don’t ruin the party for people. Don’t be a complainer be a doer!

    Last ladies- don’t judge other’s and don’t be a bad woman either. Go for single men only and never ex’s of friends or relatives. You will be happy and dudes will want to date you


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  1. Liz, October 21, 2011
    I do think #1 is a big problem for many women, and weight can be an issue of self confidence. There are many heavy women that date and even have very successful marriages but your self confidence and self esteem plays a big part as most women aren't confident being over weight. I think if you have confidence in your appearance you're self image will speak for itself. If you are over weight, working on losing weight and doing things to improve your appearance can go a long way in helping your self confidence. This idea is similar to what 'Sexcies' does for your confidence after giving birth. Reply

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