< back to articles

The “Controversy” Over SexCies…

This is in response to a blog seen here: http://thestir.cafemom.com/beauty_style/115419/lingerie_for_women_whove_had

I wanted to respond in the comment section, but for some reason it wasn’t letting me, so here is what I wanted to put in my reply:

Hello all, this is Suzy Mac, the creator of SexCies, the lingerie that is being discussed here.

I think it best that I introduce myself: I am a middle-class stay-at-home Mother of three in Pittsburgh, proudly married to a third generation Steel-Mill worker. As this is being written my three year old daughter is having her occupational therapy in the next room, and I am typing this one-handed as I am nursing my one-year old.   I do not have an office, rather, I work out of a living room strewn with toys and with a carpet that desperately needs a deep-cleaning. I am not a large nameless, faceless corporation “harshly preying on women’s insecurities” (ouch!). My daughter was oxygen-deprived thus needed an emergency C-section, my son was born via C-section two years later.

I want to thank Lindsay for sharing her opinion and all of you for leaving your comments, as I have learned a lot from them. I have learned:

1)      I stink at copywriting

2)      I am failing at truly communicating the purpose of my product

If you are so inclined, I would urge you to please read the background of my invention, and what motivated me to bring it about : http://www.sexcies.com/the-birth-of-sexcies/ before you so harshly judge me and my motivations. This will help clear some misconceptions up, and those of you who believe I think that my message is that women aren’t good enough will hopefully understand that the exact opposite is true. Please allow me to further clarify my purpose:

  • I created this for women to feel more confident, NOT for a man’s visual pleasure, or because she isn’t beautiful in the first place. My scar? I celebrate it (and so does my husband!!) as it represents what saved our daughter’s life. The “flap” of skin above it? I’m not so happy about, I admit. I might feel better the day that I see models strutting down the runway, bellies bouncing proudly, or witness the women who commented on this piece baring their bellies in low-rise jeans and half tops (more power to ya, if you do!). Me? I’m just not there yet.

-This is not only for women with C-sections, but for Cancer Survivors. Please read my blog (under “thoughts” on the www.SexCies.com website) about this helping breast cancer survivors who have had something called a “TRAM flap” surgery, to reconstruct their breasts. Which brings me to my next point:

  • Would you tell a woman who is having a mastectomy and chooses to reconstruct her breast that she is wrong to want to? That she should just “work through it” and bare her (now non-existent) breast, scars and all? Damn the falsies in your bra, honey, its others that “have the issue”, so you shouldn’t feel this way. Or should we tell her, yes, it is your body and you have the choice whether or not you want to bare the remnants of your surgery during intimate times, and you aren’t terrible for wanting to do so?

My teenage son, walking past the living room today, stopped and wanted to know why I looked so upset. I let him know that despite all of the glowing press and support and excitement, some people weren’t happy with the idea of my product. He said he didn’t understand, so I read him some of the comments that were posted.

He rolled his eyes, “Geez, Mom..don’t any of those ladies wear make-up?”  and turned and walked out of the room.

I thought, Huh. Yes, what if someone told you that you shouldn’t wear make-up? That you shouldn’t “feel ugly”, that you should just bare all and get past your self-consciousness? That would offend you, right? Well, that is the tone of the emails I received today from women who had read this…a deep embarrassment and confusion as to why fellow women wouldn’t understand the need for us to feel better about ourselves, regardless of our partner’s attitude. During product development, I NEVER asked any man to judge the “sexiness” of my product, rather, I had a team of lovely, strong, self-actualized cancer-survivors tell me whether or not THEY felt sexy in my lingerie. THAT is what this is about.

I LOVE that most of you who made those comments are self-confident, I really, really mean that. I WISH  I had I wasn’t insecure about my bellyflap, but just as some women chose NOT to wear a thong-bikini on the beach and chose a one piece (which is okay, right?), I chose to wear something that makes me feel beautiful and takes MY mind off my flap, not my husband’s (who I totally agree, couldn’t care less and thinks I am beautiful naked, and tells me this all the time).

I am not “cashing in” on women’s insecurities, rather, I spent our life’s savings (and am taking a huge hit on my profit margin,as I chose not to  burden new Moms and women going through medical treatment with exclusionary price point) on creating a product which I feel can help women feel uninhibited again in the bedroom. This is for those of us who are uncomfortable in Victoria Secret lingerie (which  really, IMHO, only looks fabulous on a pubescent size 2).

SexCies falls into the same category as plus sized lingerie or lingerie, lingerie for petite women or lingerie for mastectomy survivors or lingerie for pregnant women (i.e. any woman who has unique needs that aren’t currently being fulfilled by the industry). This is all about CHOICE…some of us might want to wear high-heels some nights, some thongs, some go nude…just as the shoe makers aren’t subjected to a backlash for making anything but a loafer, I feel that SexCies deserves to be on the same level; simply just another “wardrobe option”.

In other words, I created SexCies not from a place of shame or fear but from an understanding that all women (including women who’ve had surgeries that may leave them with sensitive scar tissue and undesired abdominal puckering) deserve super sexy lingerie. And ya know what? I hope one day that they feel that they can go naked, as well.

🙂

 

Comment on Facebook!

Add a comment

Comments ()

  1. Darlene, January 26, 2011
    Well said, Suzy. Most of the commenters focused on how the man feels, but you are focusing on how a woman feels. It's not that you're preying on insecurities--you have recognized a real need and are meeting it. Too often, women are told to buck up and not care about these things when all we really need is a way to deal with what bothers us. You're providing this. Reply
  2. Suzy, January 27, 2011
    Thank you, Darlene, that means a lot. :) Reply
  3. Heather, January 27, 2011
    Hey- Don't feel bad. Please. Ever. It looks like a fab product. The only thing I question, as I said on Lyndsey's post, is the comfort level-if it's not too restrictive, and looks that good, well, you've got nothing to worry about. It's a bloody brilliant idea. I wore a t-shirt to bed the first couple of times after I had each baby. Yeah. That's sexy. Anyway, I'd love to work with you doing a review/giveaway on my blog, if you're interested. I think you've got a great product and deserve some respect! Reply
  4. Susan, June 29, 2012
    I dont think your wrong for doing this. I am 26 years old and prepregnancy i never weight more then 125lbs and had prefectly flat abs. My dream of a normal delivery of my daughter were shattered when she desided not to turn and was found to still be breech 2 weeks before she was due. The drs desided we were doing a schedualed ceasaren. My daughter is 2 weeks now. And i have accepted my scar. It doesnt bother me. but i am determined and willing to do whatever i have to, to get rid of my extra "pooch" as i call it. So my question is have u or did you try everything to get rid my the extra skin? I dont mind the extra weight i have put on either. im accturaly thankful for it since my prepegnancy weight was only 106lbs and i wasnt happy at that size and i stuggled to put weight on. But what i fear after seeing your website and product is that im doomed to be be cheater out of another dream of regaining my flat tummy. So i guess what im asking is by creating this product are you saying to find it impossible to get rid my the extra skin or "flap" as i have seen it called? Reply

Add a comment

Top
(it will not be shared)

Bad Behavior has blocked 730 access attempts in the last 7 days.